How I "Healed"

After my uncle passed, I became fixated on “healing the right way”, which I thought meant being sad for a year, then moving on because “life goes on.” But within days, I realized there’s no getting over grief or fixing yourself. Healing meant learning to sit with the pain, process it, and prepare for the waves that would inevitably come.

The first step was admitting I was in denial, not just about losing my uncle, but about God’s goodness. My mind was flooded with questions: “Why?” “Why me?” “What if?” Fear took over, especially the fear of losing more loved ones. I withdrew from people, convinced there was no solution to my pain.

But that wasn’t entirely true.

Through cognitive behavioral therapy, I learned to talk through my emotions and find clarity. Grief groups helped me redirect my hurt and rediscover God’s grace. Books on loss gave me language for what I was feeling, and understanding it was okay to be sad some days and “normal” on others.

It’s been a journey of small, intentional steps. Each one has reshaped how I understand grief. And I’ve watched those around me find their own ways to cope, proof that healing doesn’t look the same for everyone, but it is possible.

Understanding of my loss and having seen my loved ones around me all engage in different coping skills that have helped them to this day!